Never Enough
by secretlyeden
Summary: A Dean and Ruby story. Set season 3 Cassidy Ruby 'Because, let's face it part of their allure was the violent way they simply weren't supposed to be' a story about how Dean and Ruby never had enough time.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: A Dean and Ruby story, set season 3, kinda canon if you squint but I'll definitely be messing with the timeline as the story goes on, you might recognize some of the scenes but I'll remind you where we are on Dean's ticking clock in the story. Summary... 'Let's face it part of their allure was the violent way they simply weren't supposed to be' A story about how Ruby and Dean never really got enough. Enough of each other, enough time, enough anything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ruby, or Sam, or Dean, or Bobby or anything else that you recognize unfortunately, because I have plenty of creative ideas of what I'd do with them. *evil snicker***

**A/N: Dean and Ruby are a passion of mine and we are talking about the Katie Cassidy Ruby not the Cortese version of Ruby, because the chemistry was just not the same. This will be a multi-chapter fic that I'll update as often as possible I already have the first few chapters written so I'll update kinda according on what kind of reception I get. Be kind, be honest, read and review. If you don't have something nice to say at least say it gently. Rated M for later chapters, language and adult themes.**

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**Prologue**:

Pain. You hear the term gut wrenching pain thrown around by people who have no idea what it means. But she did, if there was one thing Ruby was intimately acquainted with in her life it was pain, and that is exactly what she was feeling. Pain everywhere. In her head, her shoulders, her thighs, pain that was pressed right up against her like only a lover should be. That's where the gut wrenching came in, she turned over just enough to wretch up contents of her stomach. That's how much pain she was in, not only enough that she didn't know where she was, couldn't remember why she was here, but so much that she kept pushing out her insides as the pain racked her body. She had no idea how long she sat like that bent over on a foreign floor, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. But eventually the pain started to subside and leave room in her brain for thought. The first thing that inched its way in was the noise behind her. Something was sobbing, like the whole world had come down around them. And then her world came crashing down too. It all came back to her in one giant wave that she wished would have stayed off shore just a little longer. These were things she did not want to remember, to ever even know.

Dean.

_No longer Dean._

Lilith.

_The stupid bitch took my body- took my goodbye._

Sam.

_Broken. More broken than even she'd be._

"Sam?" she turned around knowing whose voice was behind her only to see him holding her life in his arms. Broken and twisted and bloody Dean's once playful eyes lay open and lifeless.

She heard that noise again. Like an animal in horrible pain, but this time it wasn't coming from Sam. She covered her mouth as she realized the sobbing was coming from her mouth now. She moved closer, inch by inch she sat herself beside him. His whole body was torn apart, desecrated was the word that came to mind. Disgusting, that's what it was, that a man so strong so fierce and brave could be reduced to this.

Grief filled eyes met lifeless ones, and in the space between where so much life had once resided stood only death. Both hers and his. But nevertheless that's when she saw it, as her eyes stared where his once were she saw it for the first time.

The life they could have had: Dirty motel rooms and even dirtier diners full of violence and victory but all lined with smirks and banter. The screaming and name calling, because let's face it, part of their allure was the violent way they simply weren't supposed to be, and then making love in the rain, or on the hood of the impala to make up for all the awful things they said to each other. Her threatening to leave a million times and crawling back into his arms a million and one, his promises to never come back when he stormed out after some of their nastier matches, but he'd always be back by three in the morning smelling of whiskey and apologies. How one day the call would be just too close and he'd tell her that was their last hunt, because losing her and Sam, he would rather live through the apocalypse than try and live through that. The little house down the road from Bobby's they'd buy and fix up together with a big garage for all the cars he'd ever wanted and an even bigger backyard with the stable she'd build on the land. The small town jobs they'd get and struggle to keep because they're both really bad at being told what to do. And then the little versions of him and her that'd come eventually with her blonde hair and his dancing hazel eyes. The thanksgivings with Sam and Bobby and Ellen and Jo and-

It would never happen.

It would never happen because Lilith stole everything from them.

She felt herself break. Into a million pieces at the image, crack and splinter until she knew she'd never be whole again.

It wouldn't be til many months and many more fragments of herself later that she'd see the irony… that she only saw their life in his death.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. You'll recognize some quotes, if you recognize them I don't own them.**

**A/N: Yes this story takes a little while to get to the good stuff but I happen to enjoy the angsty-anger filled build up. I hope you do too :) **

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But that had been the end, I should really go back to the beginning. Because honestly, who wants to hear about the tragic ending when there's a whole story to be told? It began like most things that should never be, gradually, slowly. They wore each other down inch by glorious inch until… well I'm getting ahead of myself again. Mostly it started with Sammy.

Sam had known Dean would be the harder of the two to convince. After all Dean was the one with the lifetime of experience to cite in the argument that she was in fact evil. Ruby had been easy, actually afterwards Sam realized she'd been a little too easy because she never thought Dean would actually agree to it.

"Dean come on, she's saved our lives at least half a dozen times by now!" Sam resorted to when it became clear that logic would have to do over simple emotional appeals.

"Sam! Open your eyes! She's a demon! She could save the whole damn world and I _still_ wouldn't trust that she didn't have an ulterior motive. She's evil. That's what demons are. You know, there's a reason we hunt and kill them and it's not just for the thrill!" Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Dean turned because he just couldn't stare at Sam and his delusions for another minute.

"I'm not asking you to take her out on a date Dean, I'm not even asking you to like her, all I'm asking is that you try not to be such a dick to her. You could at least try to get to know her, ya know go play strip poker like you would with any other hot piece of blonde tail that wanted in on the business." Sam was clearly desperate if he was trying to use the more primal portion of Dean's brain to win this one.

"You're right and if she was _human _I'd be all for hitting the hot tub but how many times do I have to point out she is _not _in fact human?"

Then Sam had an idea, and he should have felt bad about playing this card, but well, he didn't. "How'd you feel when I was dead?" Sam's voice was suddenly quiet.

"What?" Dean's face was now hovering somewhere between confusion and anger.

"How'd it feel when I was dead, for those what? Two days? When you were actually alone in this world, no dad, no me, how'd it feel?" The silence that followed was so full Sam almost didn't keep going.

"Sam, don't, ok-"

"No, Dean. No. Because ten months from now, that's going to be my life. Except I'll know that you're in hell for me and it won't be for two days it will be for the _rest_ of my life. You're leaving me. You are the selfish bastard that's making _me _live in this world alone. Except that demon that you hate so much might actually be able to stop it. She might be able to give you back to me. So you're going to march your ass down to the dive around the corner and you're going to smile and make nice because I _refuse _to let you go to hell for me."

And on a normal day, it wouldn't have worked. On a normal day Dean would have told him they'd find another way, but today wasn't a normal day. It was the anniversary of their father's death. Maybe it was the day itself, or the memories that flooded along with it, maybe it was simply the desperate look in Sam's eye, but whatever it was Dean just nodded and said, "Okay Sammy. Okay." And he walked out the door.

And Sam smiled. He had actually done it. He managed to get both Dean and Ruby to willingly sit down in a bar together and get to know each other. And maybe, just maybe after tonight they wouldn't be throwing punches and glares each other's way every time the other entered a room.

* * *

He was annoyed. Actually, annoyed didn't begin to cover it. Irritated, irate, furious, disgusted. He, Dean Winchester, had to go sit down and have a drink with a demon. He shuddered.

The place was called _Lucky's _but honestly the only patrons were those who had had absolutely no luck in their sad, pathetic lives. It was the definition of a dive, all wood, and cheap whiskey and the smell of desperation from the masses. He scanned the place quickly, but it didn't take long. A girl like Ruby in a place like this wasn't hard to find. She stood out. Dean watched her for a minute. She was gorgeous he'd give her that, the demon knew what she was doing when she picked a body. And yet despite that he'd still love to slam her head into a wall.

"Yeah, I'll have whatever's on tap." As he slid onto the stool next to her.

A smirk climbed its way onto her face, "So the great and mighty Dean Winchester lowers himself to have drink with a demon. Sam finally guilt you into it?"

"Look," he bit out gruffly, "Just because I'm here does not mean I accept you as a part of our lives or that you're anything other than an opportunistic skank of a demon trying to worm her way into Sammy's head-"

"You really know how to charm a girl, my legs are _trembling_." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Just want to be clear on where we stand." The bartender arrived with Dean's drink then and he took a huge swallow hoping maybe the weird of this whole situation would get better with a buzz.

Ruby turned on her stool to face him, "I wasn't aware _we _stood anywhere, but since we're making things clear, I don't want to be here anymore than you do, I happen to think you're a self-righteous son of a bitch who will always be trying to prove something to his sad excuse of a daddy." Her lips were now pursed in that way the made it clear she left no room for negotiation.

"Don't you ever talk about my father." Dean had her by the collar before she blinked. Their faces just inches apart, Ruby's eyes flashed black and Dean practically growled back at her..

"Ooh? Struck a nerve did I?" She quipped and the tension between them built until they were both sure they'd take the whole bar down with them.

"Excuse me? Is there a problem here?" The bartender was back again and using a voice that clearly stated _I know I'm asking if there's a problem but everyone in the bar can see there is one and we don't tolerate wife beating in this establishment._

So Dean let her go, and Ruby shook him off, paid her tab and turned to go. "Great drink Dean, really."

Dean saw her starting to walk away, and for the life of him he couldn't explain to anyone why he did what he did next. "Wait." His body was clearly refusing to accept what his mind was making happen from the hesitant way he put his drink down and moved toward her. And God bless her but she'll also never understand why she turned around when he asked her to, but she did, clearly having to fight her own instincts.

"I promised Sam I would- get to- to get to- know you I guess. I'm—I still-" Dean really wasn't enjoying this would-be apology.

Ruby laughed, well it was really more of a snicker. "Stutter much? We're clearly not going to get anywhere like this." With a flip of her hair.

He was irritated again. Why'd she have to be such a smart ass? Putting his hands on his hips he asked, "Well do you have a suggestion or are you just going to be a smart ass all night?"

She smirked again, and god was he getting tired of that stupid smirk of hers. "Actually, I do. Pool?" She said gesturing toward the pool tables in the back and turning to make her way toward them.

"Um, sure I guess, I don't quite see how this is going to make me despise you any less, but I've never been one turn down pool." Dean followed her.

"Let's make it interesting." Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she handed him a pool cue. "No bets, but every shot we make we can ask the other a question, every shot we miss we have to…"

"Do a dare." He finished for her with a grin that matched her own.

"Yes. Of course. A dare. You get the drinks and I'll set the table."

Dean was actually looking forward to this, and then he caught himself, and thoroughly reminded himself that she was a demon. This playful exterior of hers was just that an exterior, inside she was all black eyes and deception. With that thought at the forefront of his mind he grabbed the beers from the bartender and headed back to the pool table.

"Your break?" She asked a grin still playing on her face.

"No you can have it." His gruff voice and controlled face was back and he almost thought he saw her face fall a bit.

"No, really I insist." And with that she slid her own mask back over her smile.

He of course broke beautifully and made his first three shots with ease, after all he'd been hustling pool since he could see over the table. That's when he realized why she wanted him to go first, he had to ask the questions. And if you know anything about the game you know the questions tell infinitely more than their answers do.

"Alright, I guess that means I owe you three answers." She slid her body up on the pool table so she was sitting on its edge pool stick to the side resting in her hand. He stood across from her, hands resting on his own stick feet apart in his normal casual stance.

He smirked. Always smirking. He thought back to the beginning of the night and figured he might as well start with the basics. "Who's body are you ridin'?" Yeah what better way to remind yourself she's not human than to figure out who's body she's stolen. He studied her, if he was going to be forced to spend time with her he thought he might as well learn as much as possible about the enemy. She let her head fall slightly and he thought he saw her eyes glint.

Her voice was soft when she finally spoke. "No one's." He quirked an eyebrow, clearly not understanding. Her eyes locked on his and never left, she certainly wanted to know how this information would play out in the mind of Dean Winchester. "This body is mine, back from when I was human. I was a witch you see, so when I clawed my way out of hell I was able to find descendants of mine who would help me put it back together. It's all me in here." She cocked her head to the side and studied him right back.

This revelation sent Dean's head for a spin. She was in her own body? The next question came without thought to the game. "You were human? And you remember it?"

"Like it was yesterday, and like it was seven hundred years ago. But yes, I remember what it was like, some of it's a blur and some of it is so engraved in me the hell fires themselves couldn't burn it away." This time he knew he heard her voice drift away from them both to a past life full of regret and broken promise.

"How long ago?" Dean really couldn't help himself. He didn't understand. She was a _demon _as far as he knew humans couldn't also be demons.

"Back when the plague was big." Ruby was revealing way too much.

"So, every damn demon? They were all human once?"

"Every one I've ever met." _Even the one that holds your deal. _

"Well they sure don't act like it." Dean sat down. _Could she be lying_?

"Most of them have forgotten what it means, that's what hell is supposed to do, make you forget what you are. But not me, it clung to me, and in some ways that made it worse because if you can't remember what it was like to live then eventually death can't seem as bad" Her voice had gained an edge to it again but he could tell her mind far away in some awful place. And if he wasn't Dean Winchester he would have shivered at her answer and all that it implied. "And technically that was four questions I should get a bonus." she said hopping off the table, "Your turn."

Now Dean would never admit that he missed the next shot because her words about hell had riled him, but miss the next shot he did nonetheless. Her grin came back full force at this, slinking around him in an almost threatening way.

"A dare, what oh what shall it be." He eyed her warily she had a dangerous look in her eye. Ruby knew the mood had taken a dangerous turn toward the Maudlin and she knew she had to lighten, and quick. "I dare you… to hit on the guy in the corner, offer to buy him a drink." He blanched. _Visibly blanched._

"You're not serious." He stated, he wouldn't dare pose it as a question.

"I am." She nodded and gestured for him to go, "Unless of course you're not comfortable enough with your manhood and it's true what they say about the nice car and the leather jacket and the big guns just being your way of… compensating." Her intentions clear from the way her eyes lingered on his belt buckle.

He snickered but it was fake and clearly forced, "No one says-" He stopped when he saw her raise an eyebrow saying _prove it._ He chugged the rest of his beer and grimaced as he made his way over to the well dressed man in the corner, cursing Ruby and her stupid game and her stupid mind and her oh so stupid manipulative ways all the while.

Dean, who was clearly more uncomfortable than he'd ever been in his life, slid into the side of the booth across from Ruby's chosen target. "Hi there." He began with a curt nod.

"Hello… Mr...?" the man leaned across the table towards Dean.

"I was… uh well, I mean, I was over there, and then I- I came over here to… to- buy you a drink." Dean fumbled and brayed through the would-be conversation. He glanced back a Ruby to convey all the hate he was feeling and saw her gleefully wink his direction. Hate, did he mention all the hate?

"I'd quite like that." The other man said with a smile that was just a little too slick for Dean's taste.

Dean quickly ordered the drinks and downed his as quickly as possible and practically sprinted back over to Ruby who was crying she was laughing so hard. "You know, you two made quite the coup-" She cut herself off with yet another round of chuckling. "I'm sorry I-" She took a deep breath to get the giggles under control and composed herself just enough to say, "Nicely done." This time she managed to keep an almost straight face.

"It's your effing turn." He said gesturing to the table too annoyed to banter yet too disarmed by her giggles to remember to hate her, because she was _giggling, _not snickering or smirking or laughing outright she had let a high pitched _giggle _escape her lips. If Dean didn't know better he'd say Ruby looked almost girly at the moment.

Ruby made the next two shots effortlessly before she turned to eye him ever so carefully. Dean looked away, it was impossible to look back at her when she was looking at him like that. "Don't forget I get my bonus... What's your irrational fear?" His eyebrows were up again. "Oh come on, ya know, everyone has them, Sam is terrified of clowns, some people needles, others snakes what's the Great Dean Winchester afraid that he shouldn't be?"

It didn't escape him how she posed the question, not what his greatest fear was, but his irrational fear. She was trying to keep it light. So, he told her. "Ostriches." He coughed out before turning to look anywhere but at Ruby, and curse her she _giggled _again.

"Ostriches? Like, the birds?"

"Oh come on, they're not natural they can't fly they can run abnormally fast they push eggs the size of pizzas out of their body and have you seen... their beaks? No way. If I ever saw one in a dark alley I'd run the other direction." They were both laughing now.

He wouldn't realize this until the next morning but he was actually beginning to enjoy himself. Somewhere between the game and their second round of drinks his guard had come down and he had forgotten she was a demon and saw only one frustrating woman standing before him. That's why when the next question came he answered it honestly.

"Have you ever loved anyone? I mean outside of Sammy and John and Bobby?" Her question would seem odd considering all of the supernatural that surrounded them except it didn't, it seemed like the little piece of normal they both needed.

"No." He shrugged. "I should probably be ashamed of that, I mean I've bedded plenty of women, but when you take time to love someone you just have to add them to the list of people you can't let get killed, or who you have to consider when you almost get killed, so… no." Ruby nodded she understood, it seemed.

She grinned again, time to lighten the mood, "Best sex of your life?" He grinned back and their eyes locked and in that second Dean just knew that the current running between the two of them wasn't just hate anymore but it was laced with something entirely different. He knew that if their bodies ever locked the way his brain was imagining right now there would be no need to answer this question.

"Lisa Braeden, yoga instructor." He said, with a smug grin plastered on his face. Ruby just rolled her eyes and went to take her next shot, which she made. The next question slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it.

"Are you afraid? Of hell?" She asked moving ever so closer to him.

Dean stood there for a moment. Frozen. And that's when he let the disgust take back over, rather than feel the fear that threatened to choke him when he was alone at night. He licked his lips and shook his head. Then threw his pool stick on the table, "We're done here." His voice rang with the malice he felt. He turned away then shaking his head and making a line for the door.

"Dean! Come on!" Ruby called after him, but it was useless. He was gone as soon as she let her curiosity win and ask the question. It wouldn't be until weeks later that he let her behind the mask again and she felt the loss much deeper than she should have. She followed him anyway. When she reached the parking lot she yelled after him, "So you're allowed to ask incredibly probing personal questions but I'm not?"

Dean turned on her, his eyes wild, and for the first time she was honestly afraid of him. "No. You're not because when I ask you something you don't even _feel it_. Because you're not even human. You're just a monster with a pretty face." He practically spat the last bit at her.

He may not have believed it but boy did she feel it right then. He turned to leave again and was practically in his car before she spoke again. "The answer's yes by the way." He froze. "Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later hell will burn away your humanity. Every hellbound soul, every one turns into something else... turns into us. So yeah... yeah you can count on it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or their back story or anything that's not original to this story, basically, I own nothing but boy would I like to... ;)**

**A/N: This chapter is a good bit longer than the last and I didn't mean it to be but the characters just kinda took hold of me and wouldn't let go. When they talk about going to Lisa's that's about where they are on Dean's ticking clock.**

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Chapter 2

I could tell you about the rest of that night; how they both went home to their respective beds and tossed and turned with thoughts of each other and how they were confusing the others moral compass, but that's just not how it happened. To be true, neither one of them really thought much of it except that Sam's little experiment had failed, well that and they wanted to bash the others face in. He got them to sit down and talk and it ended the way it always did with both of them furious and walking away. But that's not to say nothing changed. Because it changed alright, they were just too caught up in themselves to notice. But Sam did. Because really, doesn't he always?

Their fights got meaner, harsher because they had figured out exactly where to hurt. It wasn't a conscious effort on either of their parts. But when Dean would catch himself actually considering the options Ruby offered (like that time he found out she had been helping Bobby with the colt) or thinking about her as part of the team (when she accidentally touched the rabbit foot and cursed them both to hell for getting her involved) or that one awful time that he caught himself thinking how beautiful she was when she bit her lip (because honestly when she sat on the bed research book in hand who couldn't think about all the things they'd love to do to her) he'd lash out and remind himself and everyone else in earshot that she was the definition of something evil.

Her plight was even worse, because she was actually starting to _want _to help him. She could see the fear in his eyes when he thought no one was looking and she noticed how he'd been eating his pie before his burger like he was expecting it to come at any minute even though they still had over nine months left. She watched the dark circles under his eyes grow as the nightmares took over and he slept less and less. She saw how he loved his little brother and how he genuinely wanted to save the people they encountered from all that went bump in the night. She was starting to _feel _for him. She _felt _afraid, and concerned and…something… else. Ruby isn't supposed to _feel _anything. She's a demon. But of course then he'd say horrible things about her and she'd forget all of those moments and throw them right back.

All the while Sam watched as they wore each other down. Somewhere along the way Dean had let Ruby into their lives. Yes their fights were nastier, their quips cut deeper, they were downright cruel sometimes, but he also saw the way Dean passed Ruby a beer when he got the six pack from the fridge, how Ruby would leave the TV on reruns of _Dukes of Hazzard_, because she knew he'd watch it when she left, how Dean started putting Ruby's bag in the trunk and letting her ride in the back of the Impala between jobs, how Ruby would turn off his alarm before it sounded if he had actually managed to sleep through the night just so he could have a few extra hours peace, and how Dean would call with a "Hey blondie we're already halfway to the next case, think you can try not to slow us down this time?", and how Ruby didn't have to ask Dean what he wanted when it was her turn on a food run anymore. Sure they were all little things, but it was _something_ and considering how very stubborn they both were _something _was a big deal. But Sam let them believe they only put up with each other for his sake because he was fully aware of the dangers if they actually realized they were starting to care about each other.

* * *

Ruby was having a bad day. As days went this one has pretty much sucked ass. And it all started with that brunette bitch Dean had been so intent on seeing.

They had all been researching perfectly good cases when he walked in and announced that he had found a case. They were going to some little bum-fuck town in Indiana. At first she thought it sounded fine and they packed up and headed out. But in the car she and Sam started asking questions about the case, and it became clear this was Dean's idea of a cross country booty call.

Ruby was livid. He was really wasting their time and energy to go get laid. Then she recognized the name 'Lisa Braeden' that's right, _best sex of his life Lisa Braeden. _Her heart started pounding and her palms got all clammy and her stomach… she thought she was going to throw up. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ "You've gotta be kidding me Dean." She said instead.

"Don't get your panties in a wad Tinkerbelle, we'll be there two days tops."

"First of all don't talk about my panties, secondly I don't give a rat's ass how long it takes for you to thoroughly bang the gong but you're not wasting my time and Sam's time so that you can get laid by some human who you were impressed by eight years ago because she gave good head!" She was yelling by the end of it, she'll admit it, and she might have been gripping the back of the seat just a bit too tightly. His ego threatened to choke her on occasion.

"Ruby, what do you know about head? They'd probably barely invented it back when you were still breathing, hell they probably just figured out missionary, and if you don't wanna be there Sam and I didn't ask you tag along like a little lost demonic puppy who has no one else to take her in!" His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as he eyed her through the rearview. It had been the word head coming out of her mouth. From the moment she said it all he could picture was her on her knees for him, the word echoed in his head and he could practically hear her whispering naughty things in his ear. _Where the fuck did that come from? _So of course 'lost demonic puppy' was his only natural course of action to repair that thought.

He didn't. He had the balls to insinuate they were doing _her_ a favor by _letting_ her tag along? Of course the dog comment didn't help things. "This, coming from the ass-wipe who is about to spend eternity in hell for a brother who couldn't wait to be rid of him? Ever wonder why Sam's the only one you've got? No one else could put up with you! Even he's tried to leave you what? Three or four times now, he's practically itching to be rid of you, I'm sure he'll be relieved when you're finally in the ground!" Low blow. Or two. Yeah she knows.

Hand still on the wheel, still traveling well over sixty, he turned to scream back at her their faces almost colliding "Yeah right sweetheart of the two of us who's the freak? I'd put my money on the girl who's an outcast among monsters, even the freaks of the earth won't take _you _in. Sammy only tolerates you because he's always had a soft spot for strays. Also at least I was able to keep Sam alive everything you ever loved has been dead for centur-"

"Dean! Look out!" Sam screamed as an eighteen wheeler barreled towards them while they were clearly on the wrong side of the road. Dean turned back to the road and swerved back into his lane and pressed the break. As they slowed down Sam turned to look at Ruby and Dean lifted his eyes to the rearview just to find the backseat empty of their resident demon.

Dean kept checking the rearview but still found only fast food wrappers and shot gun shells. He licked his lips and tightened his hold on the wheel.

"Great job Dean. You just pissed off Ruby, this'll be fun." Sam shook his head. He'd have to clean this mess up later.

"Oh come on, she'll get over it, she always does." Dean sounded like he was trying a little too hard to convince Sam.

"You were a real dick to her, she's never been so mad she disappeared before. And I'm sure it's not a big deal to you because _I'm _the one who will have to calm her down."

"And so what if she doesn't come back? And it's not like she wasn't throwing them right back. Let her go pout in some corner of hell." Dean's voice had lost its sincerity.

"She's only trying to help us. Not to mention can you imagine the damage she could do? She happens to be the demon who knows most about us in the world. What happens if some of the demons you just mentioned hated her snatch her? Or she decides she's had enough of your shit and runs back to them? They'll have their own personal encyclopedia of Winchester."

Dean's veins ran cold, but not because of what she knows but at the thought of her getting 'snatched.' The sins Ruby's committed against hell… they wouldn't get her killed they'd get her tortured and torn apart piece by piece. And the worst part? Dean cared, that was new, now it was all he could think about. "She'll be fine. She's Ruby, she knows how to take care of herself." But before he even finished they both knew he didn't mean it.

* * *

When Ruby had vanished from the car she put herself in the middle of Central Park. Maybe here she could find some civilized men who didn't screech like howler monkeys. She found a bench and sat down. Looking down at her hands she realized they were shaking. _What the hell? _She clasped them together to get them to stop. She was just so angry. How dare he. Never mind the things she just said to him but how _dare _he call her a freak. She glanced down, yep still shaking like a leaf. God one day she would snap and rip his rib cage out make him wear it as a hat. They still had all of her stuff in the back of the impala. She'd have to see them eventually. But _after_. After he had bedded the little whore of a yoga instructor. I mean who does yoga for a living? Prostitutes. That's who. _I hope he gets syphilis and the clap and gonorrhea. _ But she wasn't jealous. Of course not. This was Dean they were talking about his only redeeming quality was his effective use of a pop culture reference.

"Hello Ruby." Oh no… she knew that voice. The hair on the back of her neck prickled. She looked around to see where it was coming from. She spotted a short woman with long black hair.

"Sara." Ruby stood up.

"That is you in there isn't it? I mean your human body? How… _tacky."_

"What can I say, human possession is just so last fall." Ruby's lips curled. Ruby was still drowning in her anger more than ready to take it out on someone.

"Rumor is you've gone off the reservation, that you clawed your way out of hell and you're a little wannabe human girl scout now." Sara started side stepping, circling Ruby.

"Well ya know gotta mix things up. Hell can get so _dull_ after a few centuries." She took every step Sara took, in the opposite direction.

"You know I have to take you to _daddy_, I'm sure he'll just love to give a proper welcome home." Ruby shivered at the thought, but she didn't let it show.

"Ya know, as much as I'd love a little family reunion I'm going to have to pass." Ruby cocked her head to the side. She almost snorted at her use of the word family.

"It's not an invitation Ruby. I'll drag you back to hell kicking and screaming if I have to." Sara was taking steps closer to Ruby now.

"I'd like to see you try bitch."

Sara's smirk seemed too arrogant at first, but then Ruby saw someone step out from behind the cluster of trees to her right, and another to her left, and two more behind her.

It was an ambush and Ruby was all alone.

"Long time no see Ruby" One of the men called to her. "Ya know they're offering a whole lot for your head on a platter."

Ruby swallowed. She had to keep her head. "Bounty hunters now? Way to get demoted guys." She surveyed them, it was five on one, great. This should be fun.

"Nah we volunteered. We just want a piece of you when we get you home." One of the girls chimed in. Oh and they seemed pissed, double great. As if on some invisible signal they all started toward her.

* * *

Dean sat in their motel room with his hand tight around his cell phone. He'd opened it to call her a dozen times by now but had yet to follow through with it. _She's probably just blowing off steam, she probably found some poor demon to torture and kill. Or maybe she was the one being tortured. _He opened the phone and found her number again.

"Just call her already." Sam called from the bathroom.

"Call who?" Dean played dumb.

"Ruby. I know you're worried about her just call and apologize and see if she's okay." Sam rolled his eyes when Dean snapped the phone shut and slid it across the table.

"Actually I was looking up the number for the nearest nudey bar, kinda wanted to blow off some steam." Dean wriggled his eyebrows and Sam rolled his eyes.

Sam turned his back again and went back to shaving. Dean picked up his phone, just in case she decided to call him. Right about then there was a bang on their door, and a second, more insistent knock. Dean flew to the door, Sam close behind both armed with shotguns. They ripped the door open to find a very broken Ruby standing in front of them.

"Ruby! What happened?" Sam was the one to voice the question but Dean was the one to pull her inside, slide his arm around her and guide her to the bed.

"I'm fine, just a little rogue hunting gone bad." She forced a smile in Sam's direction. Sam's face colored with relief.

Dean stepped back to look at her, she looked awful. Her face was swollen and her lip and nose were bleeding, she clutched her right arm close to her body and leaned to her left in a way that made it clear she was broken somewhere. Dean's blood ran hot. _Who. That's all he needed was a name._ Ruby's eyes met his and he saw the pain she was fighting off, it was so much worse than she was letting on.

Sam went to his bag to grab some bandages and other first aid supplies that he sat on the bed next to her. "Sammy she's going to need a sling, that arm's dislocated isn't it?" Ruby nodded tightly.

"I'll go get one, can you fix her up while I'm gone?" Sam asked the tone in his voice clear, _can you be nice?_

Dean gave a curt nod. "And get a girl some whiskey why don't ya?" Ruby called after Sam. The three of them shared small smiles as Sam slipped out the door.

The second he was gone Dean was by her side supporting her helping her lay back on the pillows he arranged. "Thank you for getting him out of here." Her voice shook from the strain of talking. Dean just nodded again. They both knew she didn't want Sammy to see her like this. Dean was still furious. He would kill whoever, _whatever_ had done this to her. He caught himself, he wasn't quite sure when he'd become protective of their little demon, but he had and now the need to protect her held onto him like a vice grip. He told himself that it was to protect himself and Sam, after all Ruby did indeed know a lot about them, it wasn't really concern for her at all.

He sat down softly on the bed beside her careful not to jostle her. "I need to set the shoulder, and bind the ribs, it'll help with the pain." Dean saw her eyes water then, and he wasn't sure if it was from the pain or something else. "Ruby? You alright?"

She laughed, it was short and clipped and colored with pain but she laughed. "Yeah, great, wanna run a marathon later today?"

Dean brushed the hair that had fallen into her eyes behind her ear. "What happened?" He asked softly.

She waited for a moment, surveying him. Whatever she saw it must have been enough. "Dean... there's a bounty on my head. And it must be a big one. Hell wants me back, and _bad_. If they get me, the things they'll-" She had to stop the pain had taken over her chest.

Dean saw the fear in her eyes for the first time. His heart clenched. "They won't get you Ruby. We won't let them." His fingers lingered in her hair and she nodded. "Come on, let's set your shoulder." He helped her sit up and noted she was trying her damnedest not to make any noise from the pain. He held her arm for a moment and instead of counting and asking if she was ready he said, "Now have you learned your lesson about running away from us?" In the most patronizing tone he could manage.

"Seriously? Is this an- AH!" Her arm was back in its socket. She took in a shaky breath. "Making me mad, nice trick." She smiled through the blood and the bruises and he smirked back. He cleaned up the blood on her face and put small bandages where she was bleeding.

"I need to bind your ribs. How many are broken anyway?" He asked grabbing the tape.

"At least three, maybe more." She winced sitting up. Ruby left out the part where she was sure her hip was fractured and her spleen was ruptured and she had a collapsed lung, Dean didn't need to know that. She spun her legs so they were hanging off the side of the bed. Dean kneeled in front of her.

"Take off your shirt." Deans voice was low and Ruby smirked.

"I can't- between the shoulder and the ribs…" She didn't want to admit she needed his help.

"Oh. Right." Dean leaned toward her and slipped his fingers under the waist of her v neck. His thumbs brushed the skin of her stomach and they both felt the heat from the contact. Slowly he pulled her shirt up her stomach, and even through the bruises Dean thought fleetingly just how beautiful she was. But then god, the bruises, there wasn't an inch of her skin that wasn't discolored in one way or another. He flinched when he saw the bones of her cracked ribs pushing against her skin. If she wasn't a demon she'd be dead.

"Ruby. Who did this to you?" His voice was rough and full of the promise of violence.

"Just some low level demons. That ugly under there huh?" She was referring to her shirt.

"Low level demons?" he raised an eyebrow. "How many?" She didn't answer at first. "Ruby. How many." His voice had gained an edge he wanted an answer.

"Five."

"All at once? Damn." He let out a low breath. "Thank God you had the knife on you. How many got away?"

She shook her head. "One."

Dean smirked and raised an eyebrow. "You killed four of them and scared the fifth one off?" He laughed under his breath. She was certainly something. Ruby didn't respond so he got back to the task of taking off her shirt.

He lifted her shirt over her bra and had to stop himself from making a comment about how he'd always known she wanted him to tear her clothes off, something told him she wasn't in the mood. Suddenly he wished he hadn't sent Sam away. .

He hadn't realized he was staring until Ruby cleared her throat and he sank back onto his knees. He smirked as he saw the irony in the moment. The reason they were in this whole mess was because he couldn't handle the thought of her on her knees for him and there he was a few hours later on his knees for her. Granted the context was vastly different. He started taping her ribs. He almost flinched every time their skin touched and he thought he saw her do the same. Electricity coursed through both of them as he sat on his knees so close to her. Their eyes locked when he finished but he didn't move.

"We should probably let you get some rest." Dean said his voice oddly thick.

Ruby nodded. "Right. Rest." Ruby's eyes were sharp, more focused than Dean had ever seen them, "I'm not really tired." Her voice had taken on an almost husky tone. They were closer now, and getting closer every second, eyes flitting between mouths and eyes back to lips. The air was full around them, crackling between the two.

"Three handles of whiskey and a sling later-" Sam walked in the front door and they jumped apart. "Am I interrupting something?" Sam looked pointedly between them.

"No. Of course not."

"Not at all." They said it at the same time.

"Ya sure?" Sam asked eyeing the shirt in Dean's hand. That's when they both remembered she was half naked. Dean threw the shirt at her and put as much distance between them as the room would allow.

* * *

Now do you see why Ruby's day was sucking so royally? The stupid slutty yoga instructor, the fight with Dean, the fight in the park, (fight was a mild word, mauling would have been more accurate) and to top it all off Dean Winchester had seen her all vulnerable. No doubt that would come back to bite her in the ass. She wasn't sure why she let him see her like that. She just knew Sam _couldn't_. She adored that boy he was so sweet and… naïve.

But Dean had been… so very unlike Dean. He was patient and gentle and kind and even a little protective. Now you probably already attribute all those characteristics to Dean Winchester, but let's remember for a moment that he had never been _any_ of those things to Ruby, the demon. So for her, it was like he was acting like an entirely different person.

Ruby was… confused. So she sat on Sam's bed eating the Ben and Jerry's ice cream he brought her and relished in the fact that the boys were letting her choose the channel for once. She finally gets control of the tv and what does she watch? Vampire Diaries of course and it's only half to torture them and the other half is because she finds the boys extremely hot. Shallow you say? Demon I retort.

"Ya know if this is your choice we'll never let you have the remote again." Sam looked up from his laptop at a particularly ridiculous scene with a werewolf.

"Be nice to me, I'm injured." Ruby hit him over the head with her good arm.

"Nice? I bought you the most expensive ice cream in the whole ice cream aisle. I'd say we've covered the nice base." Sam scrunched his nose the way adorable baby brothers do and Ruby laughed.

And knives cut through her midsection.

"Oh… God remind me not to find anything funny for the next week." Ruby said to Sam.

"I'd better not speak then. We all know you can't resist my snarky charm." Dean wriggled his eyebrows and Ruby gave him the most solidly deadpan face she could manage.

"Keep talking Dean, I think I'll be just fine." Ruby almost threw the pillow at him but decided it would ultimately hurt her more than it would him.

Sam rolled his eyes. They were ridiculous. He saw the way they had been looking at each other when he came back from the pharmacy. It was only a matter of time now. Before they figured it out. And God help them all when they did.

Ruby put the lid back on the ice cream. "Hey Sam…" Her voice was honey sweet and she wore her best sweet smile.

"Yes Ruby?" Sam knew what was coming.

"Would you please put this back in the freezer for me?" She pouted then, "Cause I'm all hurt and can't move?"

Sam frowned and rolled his eyes. "How long til you're well again?" He asked as he took her ice cream to their mini fridge.

"A week total." She shrugged, and then winced.

"How is that you're hurt anyway? You're a demon?" Sam asked as he threw himself back on the bed. Shaking it and Ruby.

"Aw! Asshat, watch where you throw yourself!"

Sam looked honestly sorry. "Sorry! Sorry!"

"And since you asked, considering I'm in my human body I actually can get hurt, and have to heal, granted I heal at warp speed but... Also demon on demon violence, hurts like hell for all parties involved."

Dean was listening closely now. "So why do it? If it makes you vulnerable, makes it easier to get hurt, why go back to your body?" He plopped down on the other bed and grabbed the remote from her.

"Hey! Give it back!" Ruby couldn't reach for it and was forced to glare at him. Dean turned the channel to UFC fighting. She narrowed her eyes. "Dean. You know how I feel about sweaty men in unitards."

He snickered. "I know sweetheart, they get you all hot and bothered." She decided it was worth it to throw a pillow at him. It hit him directly in the face and she smirked. Ass.

"When I get well I'm going to ream your ass." If she wasn't hurt she'd cross her arms right about now.

"But why did you anyway?" Dean's voice lost its playful hue and went soft again.

"Why what?" Ruby was trying to avoid the question.

"Did you go back to your old body?" Dean avoided her eyes.

She watched him. Why did he want to know anyway? "Let's just call it sentimental value." She decided vague was the best route to take.

"Well that's nice and cryptic." Dean was teasing again but underneath she could tell he wanted to know. Sam was watching her now too.

"Truth?" She looked at Sam instead of Dean, it was easier that way. "It helps me hold onto my humanity. Looking in the mirror and seeing my own reflection, feeling pain, feeling my heartbeat, it helps remind me who I am instead of what I am." Her voice was casual and she shrugged halfway through, it wasn't that big of a deal if they knew. Sam was quiet watching her. Dean was, harder to read.

Dean threw the remote back to her. "I'm going for a drive." He got up and left without another word to either of them.

Ruby looked at Sam. "Your brother's a dickwad." She flipped the channel. Sam propped his head on his elbow and turned toward her.

"Ruby, he's not a dick he just… doesn't know how to handle all of this."

"All of what Sam? What is there to handle?" Ruby threw the remote down. She was so frustrated he was running ten shades of hot and cold on her today, and the day wasn't even over yet.

"Think about it from his perspective. His whole life he's been taught that demons are completely evil, one of you killed our mother, and stole our father, he's been fighting them since he was old enough to shoot a shotgun. Then you come along and you're… Ruby and almost human and he doesn't know what to think. Not to mention he bought a one way ticket to hell and he thinks he might _become_ you. An idea you gave him by the way. Thanks for that." Sam's voice begged her to try and understand. To be easier on him.

Ruby didn't say anything. She just changed the channel because suddenly nothing seemed very interesting on the television. She was… _feeling_ again. She sighed. Dean Winchester would be the death of her.

* * *

**A/N: bear with Dean and Ruby they'll get past their own stubborn streaks eventually. I hope you liked the Sam and Ruby bonding time, as much as I think Dean and Ruby are perfect for each other I think the relationship between Ruby and Sam is very important and just as familial as Dean and Sam.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would have gone a lot differently.**

**A/N: Picks up where Ch. 2 left off when Dean leaves the room. Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Dean gripped the wheel tighter and turned the stereo up again. He'd rather be hunting some evil bastard but they seemed to be conveniently absent tonight. Zeppelin played through the radio, Dean was falling back on his old favorite, trying his damnedest to remind himself where he came from.

_It's been a long time since I rock and rolled_

_It's been a long time since I did the Stroll._

He killed evil sons of bitches. That's what he was raised to do, what he was made for. Dean would be the first to admit he had faults, he would never be a successful man, or a Godly man, he'd never go to a great college like Sam, he'd never do anything normal men dreamed of. But there was one thing he was exceptional at, one of the best in the world, killing evil. He always knew part of the reason he was so good was his family. He had been forged out of salt rounds, iron, and holy water as a child. But in the back of his mind he always knew it was more than that. Dean Winchester had a unique way of seeing the world. He wasn't one to believe in shades of grey. Things were evil or they weren't. And Dean had a need to make the world a little safer from all the things that hid in the shadows. Well at least, that's how it _was_. But lately his resolve was being broken down, his convictions questioned, piece by piece everything he thought he knew was changing.

_Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,_

_Let me get it back baby, where I come from,_

Flipping the stereo up louder he shook his head, those were exactly the kind of thoughts he was trying to get rid of.

The first straw had been Sam, his visions, his connection to yellow eyes, the horrible things the other 'special children' had done, if it had been anyone else Dean would have thought he was something to be hunted, a demon progeny. Then his dad said those life altering words, '_if you can't save him you have to kill him.' _Cold worked its way up Dean's arms at the thought of that moment. What would Sam turn into? It was _Sam._ But we killed Azazel it should all be over impala roared as he pressed down harder on the accelerator. Maybe if he went fast enough he could just stop thinking.

_It's been a long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time._

The second straw of course had been his father's deal. John Winchester had gone to hell for him. How was he ever supposed to be okay with that? He watched as his father clawed his way out of the gate, yet it still haunted him. He was okay with spending eternity in hell just to save Dean. His head shook involuntarily. _He should have let me die and I wouldn't be in this mess._ Dean never really thought about what hell was like before his father sold his soul, there was no need to, hell was just the place evil things called home. But now… _They were all human once._ _Like her. What could be so bad it causes a human soul twist into a demon?_

_Carry me back, Carry me back,_

_Carry me back baby, where I come from_

Dean sang along now wanting the music to take over. The third straw had been his own deal. He thought about hell _a lot _now. Every damn day. _Would he still have his body? Would he have his memories? Would he turn into one of them? _The questions flooded his mind every time he let himself stop. But it was worth it. He had Sammy. Dad was out of hell. They'd be okay. Even if he wasn't. Even if he became the very thing he hated.

_Open your arms, Open your arms,_

_Open your arms, baby, let my love come running in_

The last straw of course, had been _her_. At first, she was just a demon, a demon that was a manipulative bitch trying to take advantage of Sam, a demon who made him see red, but still just a demon. But then she started helping, started saving people with them and his conviction faltered, but only for a second. Then Sam made them have that stupid drink and he found out she was, or used to be, human. She had… made him laugh, made him forget for a minute what his life had become. And his resolve started to trip over itself. But he'd get it back every time her black eyes came out or she mentioned a _contact (_which really meant a monster out of hell that didn't know she'd turned.) He'd been doing just fine reminding himself exactly what she was... Until today. His resolve fell flat on its face. Every time he tried to picture her eyes going onyx or what a skilled interrogator (torture master) she was, all he saw was her laying on his bed, body shattered, eyes shimmering with fear, the way she bit her lip to keep from crying out. When he heard her say why she let herself be this broken, for her humanity, everything stopped making sense. He couldn't reconcile the demon Ruby and the Ruby he saw today. Part of him thought that he just _wanted _her to be good, for his own selfish reasons because it left some hope for his trip to hell. That's what he was busy telling himself right now: that's all it was, his own delusional hopes.

Here was the real problem; He knew when he started to hate her less but he had no idea when he'd started wanting to fuck her into the wall. He shook his head and told himself that line of thinking was pointless.

Dean gave up trying to outdrive his thoughts and pulled into the next bar he saw on the main road. If he couldn't drown them out he'd just have to drink and screw them out. Slamming the car door he threw his keys into his pocket and turned toward the entrance. _Why didn't I think of this sooner? This isn't about Ruby at all, I just need a good lay. Ruby's just been the only chick I've seen in weeks. _That's exactly why he was driving cross country to see Lisa.

The moment he walked in Dean breathed a sigh of relief. This was exactly the kind of place he needed to be in. Bars like this, the dirty, the cheap, the whiskey, these were the places that he came from.

Dean made his way to the bar checking out every girl he saw in the place. So far he wasn't seeing anything he liked.

Then of course, he saw the bartender. She was fine. Dean put his signature smirk firmly in place and leaned up against the bar. "What can I get for you?" The girl turned around and her eyes widened when she saw him. _This is going to be too easy. _

"You can give me anything you want sweetheart." Dean drawled as he leaned in further. The girl blushed and looked down, her blonde hair fell in her face.

"You look like a whiskey guy to me." She said as she grabbed the bottle from the shelf. Dean let out a breath and checked out her ass. He licked his lips and shook his head. This was exactly what he needed.

"Tonight I'm anything you want me to be." As he took the drink. Dean knew he was coming on strong but, she was eating it up. She laughed and for one horrifying moment as her blue eyes peaked at him through her eyelashes he saw Ruby. He was going to be sick. But then he saw that her eyes were way too dark to be Ruby's and her hair a shade too light.

"I get off at midnight." She said smiling suggestively. It took Dean a minute to hear her.

"I'll be over there." Dean pointed to the wall with the dartboard and gave his best Winchester smile.

Dean threw darts at the wall wishing the darts were knives and the board was something worth killing. He tried to lose his thoughts in the task but ended up just picturing his problems on the board.

_Sam gripping his forehead during one of his visions._

Throw.

_Sam dead on a tattered mattress._

Bulls eye.

_John in hell._

Throw.

_Dean in hell, ripped apart by hell hounds. _

Bulls eye.

_Ruby broken on his bed._

Throw.

_Ruby naked on his bed._

Miss. The dart hit the wall behind the board.

Dean went and ripped the dart from the board, cursing the whole way. He threw back his drink, reveling in the burn that trailed down his throat.

When Dean looked up the little blonde was next to him with a whiskey bottle in hand. He smiled despite his thoughts.

"You certainly know how to keep them coming." Dean raised an eyebrow. The blonde made some witty comeback but Dean didn't hear it, his head was still with the rogue dart.

She was holding out her hand, looking at him expectantly. "I'm sorry?" Dean asked.

The girl looked disappointed. "I'm Megan." She said again.

"Megan, I'm Dean." He shook her hand then. _Dude, get a grip. _She flashed him a smile and turned back to the bar, leaving the bottle behind.

The night passed in a blur of whiskey and darts and bits of flirtatious conversation (nothing but lies on his part). When the clock struck midnight the little blonde, Megan he reminded himself, showed up next to him, jacket in hand. "Your place or mine?" she smirked.

Dean almost laughed at the thought of taking her back to the motel and fucking her in front of Sam and Ruby. "Yours. Definitely yours." Dean followed her out the door. She moved to hail a cab.

"Whoa sweetheart," he grabbed her around the waist, "I'll drive." He steered her towards the impala.

She raised her eyebrows, "This is your car?" Dean couldn't tell if she was impressed or disappointed. A better woman would have been impressed.

"Yeah." He tapped the hood and swung inside. She said nothing and he thought that was for the best. They started driving and the girl changed the radio to some pathetic excuse for music. _You're lucky you're hot. _Dean thought to himself as he forced a smile in her direction.

They pulled into her driveway, Dean didn't notice the house or anything else around them. When it started what he did notice was how _sweet _she was. She was all gentle caresses and soft lips. He let the lust take over. Dean poured himself into her, letting himself forget everything else. But as he pounded into her he couldn't stop one thought from whispering in the back of his mind. _I wonder what Ruby feels like inside_.

* * *

Ruby looked at the clock again. _5:23. _She sighed, and then winced. Sleep had been evading her since she clicked the TV off at midnight. She wasn't sure if it was the pain keeping her awake or just today's highlight reel stuck on replay in her mind. Sam was asleep next to her. She could tell from the way he was snoring like a freaking goose. The bed next to them was empty, Dean never came home. She knew where he was. Well she had a few theories at least. Considering they had been driving cross country for _Lisa Braeden _Ruby was pretty sure he needed to get laid, and badly. She knew that's where he was and maybe that's another reason she couldn't sleep. _Since when do you care where Dean Winchester sticks his dick? _She wasn't sure.

It had been a long two months with the Winchesters and at first she really just cared about Sam. Sam she could help, she could make him strong enough to survive without Dean. Going in she had believed Sam was the brother worth protecting and Dean was just part of the packaged deal. But there were so many things she hadn't anticipated about Dean Winchester. Like that he was an arrogant, closed minded, pig headed, irrational child with the emotional maturity of a watermelon.

But then, Sam gave her the damn puppy dog eyes. He had gone on and on about Dean's so called redeeming qualities until she agreed to 'get to know him' just to make Sam shut up. Something happened that night though, she was pretty sure it was around the time she made him hit on that guy and he was such a good sport despite his gruff voice and the curses he let fly under his breath, or maybe it was when he admitted his fear of ostriches and she saw the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, or maybe it was before all of that when she saw the fear in his eyes when she talked about hell. But, something changed and she started to see him less as the idiot brother she could do without.

As the weeks passed she and Sam got closer and she and Dean fell into a pattern. It went something like this, civility, to sarcasm, to cruel jokes, to anger, to screaming, to violence, to saving the others life, and generally after the violence they'd start back somewhere near civility. The one thing missing from the equation though was the indifference she always expected to feel towards him. Because there was one thing she had discovered for certain: once Dean Winchester was in your life it was impossible not to have a reaction to him. There were still times she'd gladly rip his balls off and shove them up his ass, but under that she started wanting to protect him. Then of course he'd do the next dick thing and she'd be right back to wanting to hate him.

Her thoughts drifted to what happened earlier today. He had promised to protect her. She kept replaying the moment. "_They won't get you Ruby, we won't let them." _The way his eyes were sharp at the words, almost like he meant them. They way he said her name, without a trace of contempt, almost like he cared about her. The way his voice softened, almost like he wanted to comfort her. Then there was that moment when his hands brushed her stomach and she almost reacted.

_God. When did I start sounding like a whiny pre-teen soap opera? Pathetic Ruby. Get your shit together._

She looked back at the clock. 6:30 exactly. Sam's phone went off and she groaned. "Sam." The phone kept blaring some ridiculous cartoon music. He didn't budge. "Sam! Wake your ass up!" He jumped then and looked around for his phone. "Who the hell is calling you at six in the morning!"

"It's not a call," Sam's voice was groggy, "It's an alarm." Sam got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

"Sam! Why is your alarm waking me up at six thirty?" Ruby hadn't gotten any sleep.

"It wasn't supposed to wake you up, it was supposed to wake me up, so I could do some research." She glared at him as he came out of the bathroom.

"Nerd." Ruby pushed herself up on the pillows. "What are you researching? We're not even working a case right now."

"It's not for a case." Sam sat down at the table and opened a few of the books he pulled from his bag a minute before.

"It's for Dean." Ruby finished for him. Sam just nodded. Ruby watched him for a minute. What were these Winchesters doing to her? "Throw me a book geek."

Sam grinned at her and gave her a knowing look.

"Don't look at me like that bigfoot, I happen to have a soft spot for you and I don't wanna have to wipe your snot when you get all sobby when he dies."

Sam reared back to throw a book to her. "Don't throw! Don't throw!" Ruby held out her hand to say stop. She was still pretty broken. Sam got up and handed her a book. "What exactly are we looking for anyway?" Ruby fluffed her pillows and settled in.

"I'm not really sure, maybe figure out which demon holds his deal, or a way to break deals, anything on the weaknesses of crossroads demons really." Ruby noted the hope in his voice and her chest grew tight.

"We'll find it Sam." Was all she said and they both went back to work.

About an hour later they both heard a key in the lock and scrambled to hide their books, Ruby tucked hers underneath the covers in front of her. They both slid on their innocent faces just in time for Dean to walk in the front door.

Dean looked up and eyed them both suspiciously or maybe it was guilt on his face she wasn't really sure. "What are you two doing up?"

"Saturday morning cartoons." (even though the TV was off)

"Noisy neighbors." (the walls were silent)

They both replied at the same time and then shot each other nasty glances.

"Uh huh sure." Dean replied handing out the coffees he picked up on the way home. When Dean came toward Ruby to give her the coffee, she caught the smell.

"Uhhh Dean! You reek of slut!" She could smell the sex on him, the trashy girl's perfume still hung around him mixing with their sweat.

"No I don't…" He tipped his head down to smell himself, "Do I?" Dean looked to Sam for confirmation but he just laughed at him.

Ruby felt her stomach clench. "Yeah, you smell like you rolled around in a brothel, or should I say _with _the brothel. Go take a shower!"

"How do you even know that?" Dean was smelling himself in earnest now. "You can smell it? That's fucking creepy Ruby!"

He threw off his jacket and his button up. "Believe me if I could un-smell you, or should I say _her_, then I would!" Ruby was just a second away from begging him to take a shower, the smell clinging to him made her want to claw his eyeballs out and cry all at the same time. _What the fuck is happening to me? _"Shower! Now!" Her eyes flashed black and a growl escaped her lips. Dean's face was covered with surprise.

"Ya know, you're awfully uptight this morning, maybe you should do us all a favor and go get some yourself." But despite his comment he turned on the shower and closed the door.

Ruby threw the book she had at Sam, with her good arm of course. It hit the wall just behind his head. "What was that for?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Remind me to not save his life the next time a vampire wants to rip through his jugular."

"I heard that!" Dean called from the shower.

"I meant you to!" Ruby called back to him.

Sam just rolled his eyes and Ruby threw the bible in the nightstand next to her. Sam put both his hands up to block it and it bounced off his elbow. "Stop throwing things at me! I didn't do anything!"

"No but you're the reason I have to put up with that dumbass on a daily basis."

Sam came and sat beside her. "You know he-"

"Don't Sam." And he shut up because she was clearly in no mood to have this conversation.

Twenty minutes later, once Ruby had decided TV had entirely gone to hell Dean came out of the shower. His hair was still wet and water was still rolling down his chest. The towel around his waist was slung a bit too low to be modest. Ruby almost hissed. He was gorgeous. If he were any other man in the world she would have mounted him right there. _Maybe I do need to get laid. I'm considering sex with a Winchester._

He practically walked in slow motion across the room to his bag. When he bent over his whole back rippled. In Ruby's defense this is when she tried to look away, really, honestly tried but no matter how hard she stared at the TV her eyes kept flitting back to him.

_He's probably good in bed… he's had plenty of practice. Not to mention those_ hands. _Well,__ if he could keep his mouth shut, and I couldn't see the damn grin on his face._

Then he caught her staring. She jerked her eyes away, but he had still seen her. In true Dean fashion, he smirked.

_Awesome Ruby, you've done it now. Quit gawking at the asshole._

"See something you like sweetheart?" Dean raised his eyebrows.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself tubby."

Dean laughed, a real laugh. "Whatever you say sweetheart." But he let it go at that and went back to the bathroom to get dressed.

Ruby looked over to Sam to make a hateful comment but it died on her lips, he was fast asleep. She sighed and turned off the TV Sam deserved a little sleep. He was always so worried these days. It was times like these that she most wanted to save them both. Especially right now while he was asleep he looked so innocent, like a child again.

Dean came out of the bathroom. Ruby placed a finger to her lips to shush any would-be comment and then gestured to Sam. Dean nodded, he understood. All of them understood nightmares, how they invaded your sleep, how they carried over into waking, how you could never really escape them.

Ruby watched as Dean came and sat on the bed across from them. Watched as he studied her head to toe. The scrutiny was hard to handle. She felt like he was looking into her seeing everything she tried daily to hide. Squirming under his watchful eye her mind screamed to make it stop, it made her _feel. _She desperately needed it to stop, "Good time last night?" _Divert to the slut. Good one Ruby._

Dean scoffed and raised his eyebrows. "You really wanna know?"

"…not particularly but hey if you want to share…" Ruby had to look away from him. _Why did I pick this subject again?_

"Ruby, the last thing I want to do with you is talk about my sex life." But he didn't move he just looked down and shook his head.

"Oohh, that bad huh?" Ruby grinned. She had stumbled onto something, she's not sorry to admit it made her feel better.

Dean shrugged, "Not _bad_, just not…" He trailed off.

"No, headboard banging, screaming orgasms?" She raised an eyebrow.

A grin spread across his face, "Not exactly." They both laughed, honest laughs. Their eyes caught and locked. "Why is it great sex is so hard to find?"

Ruby smirked. "It's not," She shook her head, "You just have a thing for the good girls."

Dean looked downright offended. "I do _not._ I pick them up in _bars_. So what if I like the classy of the bunch."

Ruby barked out a laugh. "You mean _boring. _And if they take you home from a bar_, _they're not classy."

"What do you know about class?"

She scoffed. "More than you."

"I like to think I bring out their wild side." Dean was looking at the carpet between his feet trying not to laugh as hard as she was.

"How's that working out for ya?" Dean just shrugged again. "You kinda surprised me, I always figured you'd be the guy to take the strippers home, instead you're the guy mothers warn their daughters about, the one that degrades princesses for a night."

"Strippers get old." Dean said simply. "I like a challenge every once in a while."

"You mean you got tired of the acrobatics?" Ruby feigned a look of pure shock.

Dean looked up at her. "There are only so many moves in the book and believe me I've seen them all."

Ruby took it as a challenge. She looked him dead in the eye and a grin that screamed sin slid across her face. "Oh cowboy, I guarantee there are moves you've never dreamed of."

Neither spoke, hell Dean wasn't even breathing. The scene played out about like you'd imagine it: heat crawling up both of their skin, breathing growing ragged, smirks fading… But then Sam rolled over and the moment was lost.

Sam was laughing into his pillow hoping neither of them saw. He had been awake since Dean came out of the shower just, listening to the two of them propositioning each other. Wrong you say? You have to remember Sam sees everything. The two of them were incredibly stubborn, but all they really needed was a push. One that Sam would be happy to provide.

* * *

**Music Lyrics from Led Zeppelin's Rock and Roll (which of course I don't own)**

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the angst. I'm kind of loving Sam playing instigator, hope you are too. Don't forget to review! Thanks to those of you who have subscribed :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I don't own them, but oh, would I like to.

**A/N: I know this chapter took a while for me to post *ducks tomatoes* I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I completely scrapped it and re-wrote it four different times. Ruby was just _not _cooperating with me, in fact she was being downright unreasonable. I guess the fourth time was the charm? I hope you think so. I'm fairly happy with how it turned out. If it's angsty I entirely blame Ed Sheeran. **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

After that night Dean and Ruby went back to living in the land of denial, actually they were drowning in it. In the end it was Sam who brought them together, big surprise there right? Of course not. But the surprise is that he did it unintentionally, actually he was unconscious for most of it. Dean and Ruby had to fall together on their own time, their mutual love for Sam was just the spark that lit the fuse.

They were on a particularly nasty hunt with a chaos demon or something equally as ridiculous. He had been wreaking havoc across three states when they finally caught up with him. It wasn't hard to find him or figure out how to kill him, but the fight, it was brutal. Sam had taken the worst of it by a long shot. When it was over he was nothing more than a crumpled figure on the floor. They were by his side in seconds, his pulse was thready and they could tell just by looking at him that he would need more help than they could give him.

This was one of the few times in Dean's history he actually broke down and went to a hospital. He carried Sam into the ER Ruby hot on his heels. She was yelling at the nurses, "We need help over here!" Everyone in the place turned to look at her, "Now people!"

"What happened?" They started asking, Ruby stepped up to take care of it, Dean was too messed up to think of logical lies.

"We were walking home and some animal jumped out and attacked him, his brother managed to beat it over the head til it ran away." They had Sam on a stretcher now. Dean was backing away from him, he seemed afraid to touch anything. That would make it real.

"Who are you?" The nurse asked Ruby.

"Just a friend."

"We'll need the two of you to make a statement to the cops." They were taking Sam away down a hallway, almost out of sight.

"Will he be okay?" Dean finally spoke. The nurse looked between the two and back down to Sam.

"It's too soon to tell." As soon as the nurse turned her back Dean was racing out the doors to the parking lot.

"Dean! Dean stop! Where are you going?" He pretended he didn't hear her. She caught up to him and grabbed onto his arm. "Dean we need to stay here. We can't let him wake up alone."

"Wake up? Don't patronize me Ruby." He tried to shake her off but the girl wasn't letting go.

"Okay, what if he doesn't are you really going to let him die alone?" The thought of Sam dying choked the breath out of her.

"No! I'm going to save him!" Dean was yelling straight into her face.

She knew it. It was just a matter of making him admit it. "How Dean? You already sold your soul, as far as hell's concerned you don't have anything left to bargain with!" She let go of him, stepping back.

"Then I'll give them the rest of my time! I'll find another way! He can't die Ruby. It's Sam!" He was under the impression she didn't know how important Sam was. He was wrong.

"You think I don't know that? You think if there was _anything _to be done I wouldn't be doing it? I love that kid in there! But there's nothing we can do right now. We have to wait." She turned her voice calm, hoping to bring him down a few notches.

"Screw you! You don't know what it's like to love that kid! He's my family Ruby, _family. _Something I'm sure you know nothing about, see family doesn't give up on each other." He was heading toward the car again.

"What if he wakes up and you're dead? That'll destroy him a whole lot faster than this could." He kept walking. "Dean! He needs you! Get your ass back in there!" Dean opened the driver side door just for Ruby to slam it before he could get in.

"Look hell bitch! I'm going, you can either get out of my way or I'll make you move."

She shoved him away from the car. "You're gonna have to make me then because I won't be the girl the let Sam's brother die before his time's up!"

He tried to duck around her but she just stepped in front of him and shoved him back. He was right on the edge, ready to snap. "Ruby. I don't wanna hurt you." She shoved him farther away from the car, he just stepped right back up to her.

"Move."

"No." Shove.

"Get out of my way."

"No." Shove.

"I swear to God Ruby if you don't get your demonic ass out of my way-" He tried to fake around her but she hit him full on the jaw.

He seemed genuinely surprised when he rubbed his jaw and cut his eyes up at her. She just stood there like she was bored with her arms crossed staring him down. They were both pretty beat up already, this fight, in the middle of the parking lot was not a good idea. But Ruby knew, like Sam would know, that this, the violence was the only thing that could get through to him right now, to keep him from destroying himself.

Dean smirked, "You pack a hell of punch tinkerbelle." He moved like he was stepping away from her only to pull back and punch her square on the nose. She stumbled back a few steps. He thought he had won til she grinned up at him.

If it had been a real fight, they would have beat the shit out of each other, but Ruby wasn't hitting as hard as she could and Dean wasn't going for the honestly painful shots. If it had been real, Ruby wouldn't have lost. It took a while, far too long actually but Dean had her pressed up against the Impala, both hands captured by his.

Once he had won he seemed to lose his steam, he wasn't really sure what to do with himself now. They were both breathing hard. Ruby's face was too bloody for Dean's taste. "I can't lose him Ruby. Not after everything." He let her go and slid down the Imapala so he was sitting against the tires. She sat next to him without a word.

"He's a fighter. He'll pull through. You're not gonna lose him." Ruby wasn't one for false comfort, she really believed it. Dean hung his head.

"No matter what I do, he's never gonna be safe, I'll never be able to protect him. When I'm gone he'll be all alone." Dean's voice was so defeated, Ruby just wanted to make it better.

"I'll take care of him. After I mean, you don't have to worry about him." Dean looked up at her, shock colored his face.

He wasn't sure if it was his worry for Sam or the brutal emotional beat down he'd just taken but he snapped. "Why? Why would you do that? Why are you even here?"

Her voice was small and broken. "I meant it. I love that kid."

"That's not all." He had that voice that demanded an answer again. She really hated that voice.

She sighed, it was long and showed just how frustrated she really was. "When are you going to get it?" He looked confused and she just looked tired. "When are you going to figure out that I _miss _it."

"Miss…what?" He really was dense sometimes.

"Being human. I _miss _it. I miss _feeling _human, I _miss _love and hate and regret and joy. And _you _have the uncanny ability to bring it all out in me. You and Sam, you make me human. Yeah, at first I was fascinated with Sam, all the hype surrounding him I wanted to know, that's why I came, but the two of you, you're why I stayed…"

She was on the verge of tears, all she wanted was for him to _stop _looking at her. He couldn't tear his eyes away. That moment lasted minutes, the air still thick with her confession.

Without thought or hesitation Dean pulled her chin up and kissed her. There was no warning, no internal battle on Dean's part, no leaning in inch by inch. He stole the kiss. He stole it from all her refusals and all his doubts. And what a kiss it was. It didn't start gently. Nothing about Dean and Ruby ever started gently. It was fast and demanding, laced with her fresh tears and the brimstone on his horizon. It only lasted thirteen seconds and it ended as abruptly as it began with Dean ripping himself away from her. But it was enough because when Dean finally pulled away Ruby knew that everything had changed.

Ruby ran. It's honestly her go-to response to any real emotion. Despite her desperate need to feel human she doesn't actually know how to handle those pesky little things called feelings so instead of dealing with them; she runs. Before Dean can say a word or process what just happened she's gone. He's left sitting on the pavement outside a hospital with a demon fresh on his lips and a brother in critical condition.

Eventually he stands up and goes to find Sam. Hoping, and praying, begging both heaven and hell that he was alright. The nurses tell him something about waiting until visiting hours, he doesn't listen he busts into Sam's room and immediately wishes he hadn't.

Sam is pale and broken on the hospital bed. It's clear he's fighting for his life. Dean pulls up a chair. He won't leave, not for a moment until he knows his little brother will be alright. The next twenty four hours are hell. Dean eventually calls Bobby, he makes the seven hour drive in four.

The doctor comes in and talks to Dean. All Dean really hears is 'we don't know anything except that it's up to him to wake up, we'll know in the next forty eight hours.' He'll do it. It's Sam. He has to wake up. Dean sits and watches.

Bobby keeps telling him there are things he needs to do. But Dean can barely hear him over the voice screaming in his head and the images of Sam, liefless, on a ratty mattress, dance in front of him. 'Dean you need to eat' 'I'll eat when Sam eats' 'Dean you need to rest' 'I'll rest when Sam wakes up' 'Dean you should shower' 'I'll shower when Sam showers.' Bobby gives up and goes out to get food anyway he'll bring something back and try to make Dean eat it.

Bobby takes longer than expected. Dean ends up falling asleep in the chair next to Sam's bed. When he wakes up Bobby has left a to go box on the table next to Sam's bed. It takes him a second to notice Ruby. She's perched on the side of Sam's bed studying his sleeping form.

"You finally decide to show up?" His voice is still thick with sleep.

Ruby doesn't take her eyes off of Sam. "I decided Sam was more important than your little stunt." Her voice is hard and distant.

"My stunt?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Not now. What did the doctors say?" She purses her lips together, she very clearly has something else to say.

Dean waits a moment trying to decide if he should push the issue or not. "They said it's up to him. He can wake up or he can never wake up." Dean's voice is detached like he's talking about a stranger.

Pain crosses Ruby's face and she reaches up to brush the hair out of Sam's closed eyes. "Wake up Sammy." She whispers. "It's time to wake up now." Nothing happens. She looks away and ends up looking straight at Dean.

"You shouldn't have left. He needed you." Dean's eyes are hard.

"He needed me?" The implication is clear, _he _needed her or _Dean _needed her?

"Yes." Dean leaves no room for interpretation this time.

Ruby's smile is almost cruel, "So we're pretending you didn't kiss me in the parking lot?"

Dean can't find it in himself to smirk at her_. _"Yeah, and I guess we're gonna act like you didn't kiss me back."

"I did no-" Ruby started through gritted teeth.

"Oh come on blondie we both know you did-"

"I didn't exactly have time to react! You jumped me!"

"You had plenty of time to work up a bitch sla-"

"Dude. Can you two turn down the volume…" Sam's eyes fluttered open, his voice is rough and disjointed like a call with bad service.

"Sam!"

"Sammy." They both rushed to his side. Dean grabbed him a glass of water before he had to ask for it. He took it with a grateful smile.

"I'll get the doctor." Ruby smiled as she hurried out of the room. He woke up, of course he woke up.

Dean beamed at Sam now that he was awake. "So you finally kissed her?" It apparently didn't take Sam long to recover.

"You were awake for that huh?" Sam nodded and grinned.

"Temporary insanity. My little brother was in a coma."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself."

Mercifully the doctor came back in with Ruby at that moment to check on Sam. Ruby and Dean stood at the foot of the bed with smiles firmly in place. They looked like proud parents at a soccer game.

The doctor assured Dean that Sam was fine that he had made a speedy recovery and as long as he kept away from head injuries in the future he'd be just fine. Right. Note to self, buy Sam a helmet.

* * *

They all went back to Bobby's so that they could have something solid for a few days while Sam finished recovering. Ruby spent most of her time in Sam's room sitting on the bed entertaining him. They played cards and fought over the remote. It was adorable.

"So you kissed." Sam's voice was casual but his eyes were locked on Ruby's reaction.

"None of your business." Her face and her actions continued like he had asked about the weather.

She swapped out two of her cards. "Well considering the two of you won't even look at each other, and I'm the one who's been carrying messages between you like a courier pigeon I'd say it's entirely my business."

Ruby rolled her eyes, "You're entirely too dramatic. We look at each other."

"Ha! That's a good one cause I'm pretty sure the last time you looked at each other you yelled so loud you literally _woke me from a coma."_

"Seriously with the drama." Ruby gave up on their poker game.

"Deal with it Ruby, before it screws us over while we're hunting."

"There's nothing to deal with, it was a moment of weakness or delusion or whatever." Sam gave her the bitchface. "Can we please just finish our game?"

Sam crossed his arms. "No, I'm tired of cards. I want ice cream."

Ruby's smile grew, "This is payback isn't it?"

Sam feigned an innocent face. "I don't know what you're talking about. Expensive ice cream, that's what I'm craving."

She laughed at him, "You're lucky I like you. I'll be back in an hour."

"I fully expect a sponge bath tonight!"

* * *

Unfortunately for Ruby she had heard Sam loud and clear. Great. Now she had to deal with it.

It was dark outside when Ruby found Dean working on some old clunker in the barn. "The honest work thing, it's not really your look." Ruby passed Dean one of the beers she brought outside he took it with a nod and a glance her direction. Damn, even her wit wasn't functioning properly. She could kill him for turning her into a girl.

He looked her over and shrugged the comment really didn't deserve a response. He went back to work without a word. Ruby sat indian style on one of the other cars in the barn. The silence grew. _He's not going to make this easy is he?_ She nodded to herself.

Ruby opened her mouth to talk but couldn't imagine how to start this conversation so she closed it and looked down at her lap. She started again only to stop before she got a word out. The silence dragged on.

"So is there a reason you're creepily watching me from the corner?" Dean didn't look up from the engine.

Ass. "You're an asshole, has anyone told you that before?"

"Plenty, it's kinda lost its sting, you'll have to do better than that." He didn't even crack a smile.

"So…" Ruby started. God, when did she become this girl? The one that couldn't figure out what to say and _fidgeted?_

"Yes Ruby?" He sounded so annoyed with her.

She was done. "Screw this." She jumped off the car and made a line for the door. She almost made it out, but at the very last second he grabbed her arm and pulled her right up next to him.

"What Ruby? What is it you want to talk about?" He looked, angry. It made her shiver.

Ruby has never been particularly good with words, evidenced by her utter inability to talk to him before. So, she did the one thing she knew. "This." She crushed her lips to his. It was a bruising, violent kiss. This time she was the one to surprise Dean and he didn't have time to think of all the reasons why they _couldn't _and why he _wouldn't. _He was lost in her.

But then something clicked inside Dean's head. Dean shoved her off of him so hard she stumbled back. He wiped his mouth and spit on the ground. "Don't do that again." It was a warning, a threat.

Ruby was pissed. He _spat _at her. "You really know how to treat a girl Winchester."

"You're not a girl."

"You seemed to think I was the first time you kissed me." She was in his personal space again.

Dean turned his back to her unable to think straight. "It won't happen again sweetheart."

"Why not? Cause it's _wrong? _Because I'm pretty sure you're going to hell right along with daddy either way so you might as well enjoy the ride." He hit her. It wasn't one of his finer moments. She wasn't surprised. Wiping the blood from her mouth she smiled up at him, "You're getting into a nasty habit of doing that. Didn't your mommy teach you not to hit a woman."

"Don't you dare talk about my mother." She would play every nerve she knew he had to hit.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot she's dead." He pinned her against the car.

"Shut up."

"Is this what you want from me? Would it be easier for you? Would it help you if I was just a bitch all the time?" Her voice was quieter now but just as hard. He didn't respond, but he didn't let her go either. "Am I screwing up your black and white world Dean? Huh?"

He pushed away from her then. The short answer was yes. Dean was slipping. His resolve had fled the country.

Ruby took a step toward him. "Sorry Dean but not everything fits into your black and white cookie cutters! There's grey in the world too!"

"No! There's not! There's just you." She froze. He was poised to explode. "You. And, you are _ruining _me. Can't you just _stop. _Because you make it so that I don't know which way is up anymore! Don't you get that? You're going to _ruin me!_" They were frozen for a moment.

Then they both started moving at the same moment they met in the middle and kissed each other with everything they had. He was slowly backing her into the car and sliding her hips up onto it. She let out a moan and he pushed her harder. They stopped fighting each other and just gave in.

This time they didn't pull away. They didn't stop. They attacked each other with every ounce of frustration and fear and confusion they had been bottling up for the past two months. It wasn't gentle or sweet. It was harsh and hard and fast and up against an old beat up chevy. And yeah, it was everything they thought it'd be.

* * *

After, Ruby fully expected Dean to grab his pants and run, but that's not quite how it happened. They both lingered next to each other sweaty and sated on the ground. Dean was smiling and Ruby looked entirely content. Dean was the first one to speak, "Well that was..." Ruby laughed next to him and she moved for her jeans.

"Don't talk. If you ruin this I'll kick your ass." But she was smiling down at him as she threw him his shirt.

"Ruin this? Ruby, I think I might have rocked your world." His grin was smug but entirely too genuine for Ruby to be annoyed.

"What did I _just say _about talking?"

"I totally did." He looked like a kid with a lollipop on Christmas morning.

She rolled her eyes but couldn't hide her smile. His happiness was infectious. It was rare but when Dean Winchester really smiled Ruby felt the world slow down a little.

But then it hit her. It wouldn't last. She wondered how long it would take him to realize he had just been inside a demon, and enjoyed it. When he came down, he was going to hit like a nuclear bomb. _  
_

* * *

**A/N: ****No promises on when the next chapter will be up, I'm moving into my new apartment this week and starting classes again soon so read slowly. But you know what makes me write faster? When you hit that pretty blue button :) **

**Much love guys!**

**-AEH**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: They aren't mine, I don't own them, but this is what I'd do with them if I did.**

**A/N: I must apologize for how long it has taken me to write and post this chapter. I am so very sorry. This semester has been chaotic to say the least and every time I sat down to write I either ended up so stressed out I worked on other things, or fell asleep. That being said, I hope you like it, and I promise to update more often from now on. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Ruby was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop these days. Every time she was in the same room with Dean she fully expected the switch to flip. But it hadn't, yet. Dean Winchester had a demon as a fuck buddy, his moral car alarm was bound to go off sometime soon. So Ruby waited. Well she wasn't _just _waiting because clearly, all her free time these days was spent pinned to a wall, or underneath a Winchester, or on top of a Winchester.

It was actually kind of amazing how quickly they fell into their new affair.

The two of them spoke in their own secret language now. They communicated with hidden smiles, and hurried glances and stolen time away from the world. Even their banter had lost its edge and gained something… else.

Ruby grew less annoyed with his antics by the day and grew more willing to play along with his teasing, and Dean stopped seeing Ruby as an obstacle in his way and more as another tool in the Winchester set.

Finding time alone had been getting complicated. They almost got caught three times in the span of the week. Getting caught was not an option. It was one thing for Dean Winchester to_ be_ fuck buddies with a demon, it's entirely another for people to _know _that Dean was fuck buddies with a demon. So, they got creative. They met in the garage, in cars out in the junkyard, occasionally if they were really desperate in the panic room downstairs. They'd meet anywhere they could, it made for some creative maneuvering. They didn't care.

Sam pretended like he was oblivious. He knew. Of course he knew. He made sure to stay on the other side of the house when they were… otherwise engaged. He tried to duck his head every time he caught onto their innuendos because the smirk that crossed his face would give them away. Sam was thrilled. Dean seemed unafraid, in fact he _almost _seemed, happy. Just, don't tell Dean.

* * *

"Idgits, are you fumbling around in my kitchen again?" Bobby was still around the corner giving Dean and Ruby just enough time to throw themselves to opposite sides of the room.

"Bobby." Dean sounded a little out of breath. "Sorry, hell bitch was just trying to cook…" It wasn't completely a lie, Ruby had been trying to cook dinner before Dean distracted her.

"It can cook?" His words were harsh but his gentle smile gave Bobby away.

"Very funny Bobby. I know you happen to love my apple pie, 'best damn thing that's ever been in my mouth' were your exact words I believe." Ruby's smile was smug.

Dean shot Ruby a look behind Bobby's back, he would really like to finish what they just started. Bobby turned to look at him as Ruby started a smirk to end all smirks.

"Alright, so it was a false alarm, a guy with an actual machete and not a magical one." Sam walked in and tried not to notice the conversation Dean and Ruby were having with their eyes behind Bobby.

"Excellent, now I can go work on my baby, outside, in the barn." Dean turned to look at Ruby for the latter part of his sentence.

Ruby just stretched like a cat and yawned. "You know I'm really tired, Sam would you mind helping Dean while I take a nap." Dean cut his eyes at Ruby.

Sam fought the urge to snicker. "Yeah sure man. No problem."

"Ruby. Don't you think it's a little late for a nap?" She shook her head. Not at all. Evil, evil girl.

Dean's eyes followed Ruby up the stairs, she turned at the top to give him a little wink. Fuck it, thought Dean, "You know Sam, Ruby's right, I think I could use a nap."

"Seriously? You don't even sleep at night let alone…"

"Yeah well I'm feeling nappy." Dean bounded up the stars and left Sam trying to avoid Bobby's eye.

Ruby was still in the hallway when she felt Dean's body press her up against the wall. "Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He whispered in her ear. Ruby spun around in his arms.

"Why Mr. Winchester, can I help you with something?" Dean had picked her up and carried her into her room before she even finished her sentenced. They both dissolved into laughter and Dean threw her onto the bed, Sam wouldn't see them again until well after dark.

* * *

Ruby was sneaking out of the room, trying to escape for food. She was still adjusting her shirt, and her hair, and her makeup, when she saw Sam watching her from the doorway down the hall. Her eyes went wide. Sam shot her a smirk and walked back into his room. Ruby tiptoed after him.

"Sam, look whatever you think you saw…"

"Ruby why were you in Dean's room?" Sam pushed down a smirk, and did his best to look concerned.

"Well, you see, I just went in there to run over the facts about the werewolf…" Ruby avoided eye contact.

"And why do you look so flushed?" Sam did his very best not to snicker.

"You know, I think I might be getting sick… Maybe I'm running a fever." Ruby started faux fanning herself.

"I though demons didn't get sick?" Sam furrowed his brow, maybe he could have had a career as an actor.

"Well you know, when we hang around humans a lot..." Seriously Ruby? That makes no sense, she thought to herself.

"and why are your clothes all-" Sam lost it and busted out laughing. He was practically doubled over in his chair.

"What's so funny?" He just kept laughing. "Sam. Winchester. What. The. Hell. Is. So. Damn. Funny."

"I'm sorry," He tried to sober himself, "It's just- you're sick because you've been hanging out with humans? How dumb do you think I am?"

"It's the tru-"

"Spare me Ruby, I know you've been screwing my brother like a bunny."

Ruby froze, well he was still laughing so that's not a bad sign. "Don't tell Dean." Sam just nodded, they both knew how dangerous it would be.

* * *

The morning after Ruby strolled into Bobby's kitchen to find Dean making breakfast. He was making breakfast? She shot a glance to Sam but he just shrugged, Dean hadn't been in a good enough mood to cook in years.

"Well aren't you the Pillsbury dough boy?" She sat in the chair across from Sam.

"Snarky demons don't get pancakes, choose your words wisely." He came over with the skillet and dumped pancakes on her plate. This was…not what she had been expecting.

"Considering they probably taste like-" Her mean comment died in her throat as she tasted her first pancake. It was, delicious. "Mhhh, not bad Winchester, we might keep you yet."

The three of them sat in the kitchen joking and eating all morning until Bobby came in and politely reminded them 'don't you have a werewolf to catch you idgits.' Charming, as always. When Ruby stood up her shirt slid up her sides slightly and the skin between her top and her jeans was exposed.

"Oh my God, Ruby, what happened?" Sam was coming to her side trying to get a better look. She tugged her shirt down quickly.

"Nothing, I ended up hunting the dresser in my room with my side last night." She tried to play it off with a laugh, Sam knew better.

"That's not a bump, they look like handprints." Dammit. Ruby's eyes locked with Dean's and where she expected to see panic she saw his eyes dance with play and lust. He was enjoying this.

"What? That's ridiculous." She pulled away from Sam. "I think your imagination has gotten away with you this morning." Sam didn't look convinced not even close. But Sam watched as Ruby not so unintentionally managed to brush into Dean on her way to the sink. Suddenly Sam was less curious and really grossed out. Dean's eyes raked over her and she leaned over the counter. It was the beginning of a tease-fest that lasted all day. One that ended abruptly when Dean caught her alone in the motel bathroom.

* * *

But then… Well Sam can only keep his mouth shut for so long. They were in a crummy hotel, somewhere in one of the flyovers. Dean and Ruby were on the floor naked and doing their best not to think about what else had been on that floor when they heard a key turn in the lock. Ruby grabbed her pants and bolted for the bathroom and Dean was just able to pull his jeans on and jump on the bed before Sam walked in.

"Hey man! How was research?" It was amazing how casual Dean sounded.

"What? Research? I went for food." Sam took his jacket off and shot Dean a confused look. "I'm going to go take a shower." Dean panicked, he couldn't go in the bathroom… Ruby was still naked in the bathroom. That would make for one awkward shower.

"Wait… Sam, come on… have a beer with me." Dean grabbed a beer from the nightstand.

"No thanks." Sam's hand twisted the handle.

"Stop! Do NOT come in here!" Ruby's voice called from the bathroom.

"Awww come on! Seriously?" Sam flew away from the door. "It better not have been in my bed!"

"What better not have been in your bed?" Dean was still trying to cover, the boy was really clueless sometimes.

"The angry sex, Dean. You better not have been having hate sex with Ruby in_ my bed_!" Sam spotted Ruby's shirt on the floor then and handed it to her around the door.

"Sam… what are you talking about?" Dean shook his head and ignored Ruby's tiny hand grab her shirt and sling it over her head.

"Oh please Dean, give it up." Ruby was finally clothed and walking out of the bathroom.

"What?" Dean could feel hit stomach eating itself.

"Sam knows, Sam has known pretty much the whole time."

Dean looked back and forth between Sam and Ruby, waiting for them to deny it. Sam just shrugged. "You guys aren't exactly subtle." Sam's lips pursed together.

Ruby scoffed, but the sarcastic comment died on her lips as she watched it happen. She watched Dean come down from whatever fantasy world they had been living in and hit the real world, hard.

When Dean started talking again, gone was the playful boy Ruby had come to know for the past three weeks and he had been replaced by something hard and cold. "So let me get this straight, you knew," he pointed to Sam, "and you told him," he pointed to Ruby.

"That's not how it hap-" Ruby tried.

"Don't talk." Dean cut her off. "So the two of you have been talking about it, and smirking about it, and trading secrets behind my back."

"No Dean-" It was Sam that tried this time.

"I should have known you'd use this to get to Sam." Dean practically spat at Ruby.

"Dean get over yourself!" Ruby was mad now. This had nothing to do with Sam.

Dean grabbed his coat and headed for the door, "I want you gone before I get back. You're not welcome here anymore." He started for the door and then like an after thought he turned to Ruby, "If I see you again I'll kill you." The door slammed shut.

Ruby just stood there like an idiot. She wasn't really sure what to do, if she left then she'd never come back, but if she stayed, he'd lose it when he got back.

Sam threw Ruby's jacket at her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Let's go." Sam was halfway to the door already.

"What? Go where?" Sam smiled at her, for once Ruby looked a little lost.

"We're going to get you a side of french fries with your ketchup." Sam was still walking to the door, how could he think about food at a time like this?

"Look Sam, I'm not really hungry." She moved to put her jacket down.

"Ruby. Put your jacket on, and come with me." Slowly Ruby put her arms through her jacket and followed Sam to the diner across the street. Sam ordered for the both of them and smiled at the nice waitress that Ruby couldn't be bothered to see. It wasn't until there was a plate of steaming hot fries and a bowl of ketchup in front of her that Sam finally started to talk.

"He'll get over it." Sam seemed completely serious, but Ruby almost laughed. Dean Winchester was not the kind of man to 'get over it.' Despite the food in front of her, or maybe because of it, Ruby felt like she was going to throw up at any moment. This... feeling... whatever it was, she didn't like it.

"No he won't." Ruby plucked a fry off the plate, she could at least pretend to feel normal, unaffected even.

"You're right, he won't." Sam looked directly at Ruby, her eyes narrowed. "So what are you going to do about it?" Sam stole one of her fries.

"Excuse me?" Ruby swatted Sam's hand away.

"He's Dean, he doesn't get over things, he's stubborn as hell, and he hates everything you are." Sam said it like he was talking about the weather but it made Ruby's chest twist in a painful way. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

Ruby was over being upset, now she got to be mad. Mad was better, easier at least. "Me? I'm not going to do anything. Dean's the one acting like a little bitch, he can fix his own damn baggage."

Sam did his best to smile at her but he was getting aggravated, Ruby and Dean needed to get over themselves and just admit that they could make each other happy, if they'd let it happen. "You can sit there and pretend that this whole thing doesn't bother you, that's fine, no one here believes you, but if you keep acting like that you'll never get Dean back."

"Well that works out nicely because I don't want Dean… _back. _In fact I never really wanted him in the first place." Ruby's voice rang with spite but Sam caught her eyes. He had her attention.

"Get over it Ruby. One of you has to swallow your pride here."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Whatever sappy little sob story about Dean and his trust issues you're thinking of telling me, I'm not interested."

"Okay, I get it, you don't give a fuck." Sam put his hands up in surrender. He let her simmer for a minute, "But if you did, give a fuck," pun fully intended, "I would suggest that you don't let him cool off, if you let him cool off his stubborn streak will set in, you should go see him tonight…" Sam waited for Ruby to cut him off and tell him she didn't care. Ruby was silent. "You should apologize for not being honest with him, but not-"

"Take any of his holier than thou shit? Yeah I got it." Ruby slid out of the booth and grabbed her jacket. She started to walk away but then caught herself, "I'm not going to see him, just to be clear you're speech was cute and all but I'm leaving town for a while, bye Sam." She kissed his cheek and pranced out of the diner.

* * *

Ruby found the Impala parked outside of a dive on 3rd street, a dive with girls, the kind that danced, with minimal clothing. "Figures." Ruby muttered to herself, before she marched straight through the front door. Ruby wasn't entirely out of place in her leather boots, leather jacket and skin tight jeans but she could practically feel the sleaze crawling on her skin. She really did hate Dean Winchester.

Ruby marched straight through the crowd of drooling men to the front row, where she hung a left and expected every face to be his. Vaguely she heard the cat calls from the men behind her, expecting she was part of the act. She found him at the end of the line staring at a pretty Asian with far too many sequins and not enough actual clothes.

"You bring new meaning to the word pathetic." Ruby crossed her arms in front of him. Mad was a good place to be it helped her ignore how her stomach turned at the sight of him leering at another girl.

Dean cocked his head to the side. "Ruby. What are you doing here? I didn't think they hired chubby girls." Dean's eyes went back to the girl behind her.

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "Can we talk outside?" Her voice didn't ask it like a question.

"We have nothing to talk about." He sounded bored. "Now can you move, you're kinda blocking the view."

"Look, you little half brained dipshit, stand your ass up and walk outside. Cause let's be real you don't want me to embarrass you and kick your ass in front of all these… fine… gentlemen." The toes of her boots tapped on the floor.

"Don't flatter yourself sweetheart, you still can't take me in a fight." Dean looked anywhere but back at Ruby. She was just about ready to prove how wrong he was on that last point when someone grabbed her elbow.

"Excuse me Miss, but I'm going to have to escort you outside." A large man, assumedly a bouncer, said in Ruby's ear.

"No, you really won't." Ruby yanked her elbow away from the guy.

"Miss, you really need to come with me, we don't allow, wives, or girlfriends inside… especially angry ones." Dean watched on with a bemused expression, this poor guy had no idea what he was in for. The bouncer grabbed onto Ruby's arm again and tried to move her.

"You're gonna want to take that hand off of me, if you want to keep it." Ruby's voice was ice. If Ruby was any other girl, Dean would have stepped in earlier but, she wasn't, this demon could take care of herself. The bouncer then tried to grab Ruby's other arm. She threw her head back and made contact with his forehead.

"Dean, are you really going to make it this difficult for me?" By now two other bouncers had arrived and the one Ruby head butted was up off the floor. Dean just stared back at her.

They all converged on her at once, "Look Dean," as she delivered a kidney punch to one and swept the feet from another, "I'm really sorry," Ruby punched the last one in the face, and kicked the first one in the groin, "that you got your feelings hurt" three more elbows, "because I didn't tell you," they were all on the floor, "that Sam knew. Now can we please go?" Ruby's hands were firmly on her hips. Dean didn't move. Ruby crossed her arms in front of her, she could play dirty too. A stiletto heel pressed down on the throat of one of the bouncers. Dean's eyes narrowed to slits and Ruby simply raised an eyebrow to challenge him.

"Ruby, let him go." Dean practically growled at her.

"I'm a big, bad, evil demon, what's one low life to me?" Sarcasm dripped off Ruby's words.

"Let. Him. Go." The stiletto pressed farther into the neck. Ruby grinned. "Fine." Dean grabbed his jacket and stepped over the poor guys on the floor and followed Ruby outside.

Dean unlocked the Impala and got in without a glance at Ruby, she followed his lead and slid onto the leather seats. As if to accentuate the silence between them the radio stayed off. Dean drove for a while, his hands jerked the car at every turn. The pedal was stuck to the floorboard.

Ruby couldn't handle the silence, it was eating away at her. "Are you going to talk, or just drive me to death?"

Dean slammed on breaks and Ruby almost hit the windshield. Suddenly he pulled off on some unmarked dirt road. "Get out."

"Seriously Dean?"

"Get out of my car." He leaned over and opened the door for her. "Out."

"You're a child. An actual child." Ruby crossed her legs refusing to move.

"If you don't get your ass out of my car in the next ten seconds I will come over there and drag you out." Ruby just crossed her arms. Dean got out of the car, slammed the door and stomped across to the passenger side. He was not actually going to drag her out of the car.

"Child. Like a five year old throwing a tantrum!" Dean grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder and yanked her from the car. "What the hell?!"

Dean grabbed Ruby's waist and threw her down on the hood of the Impala. He leaned in, placing a hand on either side of her. "What part of 'if I see you again I'll kill you' did you not understand?" His green eyes danced with gold as he took out his anger on her.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "You're being awfully dramatic just cause Sammy found out you like how I feel inside." Ruby's lips curled upward, she was practically purring.

Dean slammed his hands on the hood. "Stop." Ruby's knees slid apart and her calves slid up and down Dean's leg. "We're not doing this anymore." Ruby slid her hands up his chest and pulled his whole body closer to her. "You disgust me." Ruby hooked her calf around him and pulled Dean flush against her. "Stop."

Ruby arched her back into him. "Stop what?" Dean could feel her breath on his cheek.

"You're a demon." Dean told himself to walk away.

"Yep." Ruby curled her fingers into his jacket. "And you're Dean Winchester." Dean's hands came off the car and almost touched her waist. "I am everything you hate." Ruby's mouth was hovering right next to Dean's ear. "But you still want me" Ruby pulled back to look at Dean. "And sometimes you don't actually hate me."

"Ruby. Stop." It sounded like he was begging, she didn't stop. "Ruby, I'm dying." He was trying to warn her.

Her eyes bore into his. "I don't care."

Dean's mouth slammed onto Ruby's. Their mouths were warring with each other as Dean's hands shoved Ruby's body closer to his. His mouth was on her neck and she could feel his hands slipping to her belt buckle.

Dean took her right there on the hood of the Impala.

It wasn't the first time and it certainly be the last, but after when they were laying on the hood, Dean actually slid his arms around her, and he may have even looked up at the stars. And that, was a first.

* * *

**A/N: There it is! Once again, I'm sorry it took so long to get to you guys, I promise I'll be updating more often now! I know there's no real Dean/Ruby fluff yet, but it's coming. Promise. This chapter served as the bridge. Let me know what you thought, or any ideas you have about where it's going. I always love to hear from you guys! Please review!**

**I hope everyone is having a very happy holiday :)**

**-AEH**


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